It took me a while to understand what people were actually telling me when they described their experience of melancholia and depression. They nearly always spoke about the purely psychological dimension of negative thoughts and emotions, often so unbearable that suicide seemed a redemptive relief. They rarely acknowledged their embodied physical experience.
But almost without exception, when I continued to enquire about their ailment, they would begin to talk about extreme physical states: sensations of unbearable physical heaviness, sluggishness, immobility, inability to rise from bed, a glued physical reluctance to engage in any activity.
No wonder, I thought, that they should have such distressing emotions and thoughts. Their internal physiological state, their inherent biological ecosystem, was in an awful state; and this was naturally mirrored in their sad emotions and thoughts, at their most extreme inclining towards suicide
As a mystic and metaphysician, I would then always contemplate the journey of their soul. I hoped that I might intuit some kind of coherent story, framed by metaphysics, karma and spiritual purpose, that threw some light on the darkness of their malaise, on their dark night of the soul.
Yes it was obvious, as with any illness, that there was an opportunity for spiritual development. But I always advise caution here, because it can be nasty and insensitive to assert that someone’s illness is a purposeful part of their soul’s journey. At its worst, this kind of statement can be a soulless, passive aggressive ‘you asked for it’ banality. (Even if sometimes there may be an element of truth to it.)
Stepping back from the idea that depression can be a deliberate developmental stage planned by the soul, there are however other metaphysical perspectives that are worth exploring.
I approach all this tentatively, because it is an idea that is work-in-progress and also because I want to be sensitive to the suffering of those who endure depression and melancholy.
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The key angle here is to focus on the physical experience of depression that I began to list in the first paragraph: the symptoms of sluggishness, heaviness and the effort required to move, as if one were being sucked into inertia.
Notice too how many of the therapies for depression encourage movement of the body, emotions and thoughts. Notice also the medicines administered for depression; their very prescription acknowledges that it is a biochemical embodied state.
But the physicality of depression is often ignored by those of us looking for a psycho-spiritual or metaphysical understanding and cure.
There are however two metaphysical perspectives, which can provide insight.
The first is from the writings of Djwahl Kuhl, particularly in his book, Esoteric Healing, dictated to his secretary, Alice Bailey.
The second can be found in many metaphysical philosophies, but is most explicit in the Yin-Yang approach of Taoism.
In explaining illness and the possible avenues for healing, Djwahl Kuhl of course talks about the karmic element. He also discusses illnesses, such as plagues and epidemics, where individuals have no choice but to participate in humanity’s collective karma and mass events.
Djwahl Kuhl also crucially discusses the inherent impurities in the stuff that makes up the body of planet Earth and consequently the inherent impurities that exist too in our human physical bodies. We may be brilliant, compassionate, enlightened saints, but our bodies are organic and carbon-based, and therefore contain inherent impurities that we share with Gaia. The substance of Gaia’s vehicle is not one hundred per cent pure. Gaia herself has karma.
This is a profound insight for metaphysical approaches to illness and healing. Some of our illnesses have nothing to do with our personal karma and dharma, but are simply part of the reality that we exist in an interdependent physical environment and we participate in its corrupt physical elements as much as in its gifts. That is just the way it is. (Try keeping your body healthy and alive forever!)
The physical experience of depression, then, may simply be due to someone’s physical body experiencing an impurity that belongs to planet Earth.
(Below: The Schwatzchild metric; gravity bending space and time.)
Then there is a second metaphysical insight. (I apologize in advance to scholars who may see this as an oversimplification.)
The Yin-Yang concept of Taoist philosophy expresses a crucial cosmic reality that is rarely articulated in a helpful and straightforward way. This philosophy asserts a fundamental truth, that there are two great forces continuously at work and continuously in balance with each other.
Expansion ↔ Containment
Yin ↔ Yang
Yin — everything in the cosmos is in a continual state of containment, of gravity and magnetism; of taking on form.
Yang — everything in the cosmos is in a continual state of movement and expansion.
Without gravity and magnetism – Yin – the cosmos would have no form, no solidity, no coherence.
Without movement and expansion – Yang – the cosmos would be an unimaginable block of inert matter, a sucking black hole of density, never developing and growing.
These two forces of expansion and containment balance each other to create all the forms and matter of life. Moreover their relationship is always dancing and in a state of transformation. They exist alongside and within each other.
At the same time, these two forces are felt in our bodies and our psyches.
Too much Yang, too much expansion and movement, and we become hyper.
Too much Yin, too much magnetism and inertia, and we get sucked into depression.
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So here we have a metaphysical perspective on depression. It suggests that the physical matter of someone’s body may be too inclined towards gravity, containment and magnetism; and has lost its balancing outwards movement of expansion and development. The depressed person’s cells and atoms are not moving and expanding in a balanced way. There is too much dense, sluggish gravity.
Why should this be in some people’s bodies? Yes, there is the possibility that it is the soul’s choice. But there are all the other more obvious reasons — ancestry, DNA, environmental conditions — which come from being part of an interdependent species of planet Earth. Please do not get me wrong and start sending me emails stating that people can influence their vulnerability through changes in behavior and attitude. That is only too obvious. What is not obvious to many is how we share in the collective experience of the whole planet, sometimes willingly, sometimes innocently and by chance.
Depression can be, so to speak, a natural event that occurs sometimes because our bodies are made up of matter over which we sometimes have no control. Birth and death are also indicators of this reality.
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Moreover, many people who do not suffer severe depression, do also experience cycles of melancholia, ups and downs. These are natural too and built into our biology.
Two of these cycles are very well-known.
The first is seasonal. Many people experience lows when their bodies are deprived of sunlight in the Winter; and then recover energy when stimulated by the renewed light of Spring and Summer. The warmth and rays of the sun work directly on the physiology to stimulate activity. Deprived of the stimulation, many bodies sink into melancholy.
The second cycle is the equally natural one of sadness following a period of activity or a peak of success. The body seeks balance. Having been in an extreme state of liveliness, it swings back into an extreme state of morose sluggishness. Some people, as we know, suffer lifelong swings of mood, not as disturbing as suicidal depression but nevertheless extremely uncomfortable.
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So to an important question. Can any of this approach to depression bring relief?
I do not know.
I do know however that anything that expands our understanding might in some way be useful. It progresses the conversation.
For people however who are dedicated to their spiritual development and have developed the practice of compassionate witnessing, then this approach may give them a new angle to contemplate. Possibly, better understanding their metaphysical and physical anatomy, they might intuit an insight into how they can mobilize themselves out of too much gravity into more expansion and movement. I do not know. I do however pray for the relief of suffering.
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Often my friends who suffer from depression and who have a spiritual approach, will say: I don’t belong here. I wish I had not incarnated. I want to go home.
I may then ask them about their sense of home. They always reply that home (usually in the heavens) is healing, safe, friendly and beautiful.
I find it very poignant when they say that, because I perceive extraordinary hope and optimism in their sense of home. We mystics who, fortunately, do not endure depression, are, in a way, always at home. I wish that for my melancholic friends too.
Emily Bronte wrote a poem about dying and going to Heaven and longing to be back on her beloved Yorkshire moors. The Angels threw her out and she woke sobbing for joy back on the moors.
Home can be here too.
Dear William, Thanks so much for this comprehensive and eloquent “overview” (that is, a discourse including multiple levels and aspects) of the phenomenon of depression that affects so many of our fellow humans. (Maybe also intelligent animals? – why should they be immune?) – It reminded me of the work of Stephano Sabetti who regarded the person’s physical experience as an important component, even starting point, for inquiry about this state: “What are you de-pressing?” (italics wanting) – Thanks also to those who have contributed comments here. Sharing does advance understanding. Love, Lynn.
Hey William ,really resonated with the concept of the self manifesting depression as a expression of whole reality ,Max Scubach described it in Global Process Work as manifesting the collective dreaming of an aspect of the whole . And I agree totally that as Yin is manifestly associated with the KU or Body self that all the bodily manifestations can relate to imbalances between jitsu and kyo . Manifestions of excess and lack in the energy system (Yang) impacting physical Yin /body .
We are definitely participating on multidimensional levels of manifesting those shadow aspects within the self and without (above and below ) .
Sometimes the challenge of dealing with the darker aspects can overwhelm ,it does me …and that’s when I ask for guidance and protection from those on higher dimensional realities ,guides angelic energies ,star family .
With what the whole worlds facing on a daily basis it does deeply impact me and creates a lot of worry anxiety and doubts about effectiveness .
People say often as a remedy just raise your vibrations or energy field but sometimes it just becomes too much to process or deal with if your sensitive .
I think as a species we are dealing with alot of old stuff and traumas that collectively need to be resolved faced and dealt with .and then there’s our collective responsibility to our planet and pachamama or Gaia ,all other life forms here we share our world with .
Progress on so many issues that are worthy is soooo slow …climate change ,species extinctions ,energy transformation to renewables or fee energy systems ,UFO disclosure and ET Star Race acknowledgement ,Cesation of All War , Abolition of Weapons of Mass Destruction .Impacts of Colonialism and Religious Extremism ,Racism ,Sexism ,Homophobia and Transphobia …There is alot of poison out there to transmute
It’s tough hard unrelenting work .
I often find it overwhelms me ,and there’s the constant choices that present what do I fight for right and justice and what do I let slide .
What disempowers me as an individual and what I can find that strengthen my resolve my drive to participate in positive anything …
Still working it all out !
Thanks for your very uplifting words, William.
And yesterday I came across an interview with the 102 year old Dr. Gladys McGarey.
It’s been a good week…….
Daily practice of yoga, like brushing ones teeth, eating sustaining food, breathing properly, helped me through menopause which I had no control over. Yoga and finding peace on the mat gives one a sense of control in a world and bodily changes we can’t always control. Glands, joints, chakras are given a work out and movement, even small ones, help with inertia. The chi energy is often severely depleted in depressive states and thr brain needs it for cognitive functioning. Simply moving the body can give confidence and value to ones life if all else seems dark. And helps us feel we are connected to a life force that cares about us enough to give us hope and healing on our own efforts and not just on the ones of teachers and practitioners or drugs on which it is too easy to become dependent. All things are experiments and subject to change. Discipline daily gives us something to cling on to and at least yoga is free and something people can do at beginner or expert levels with new goals to focus on.
Thank you William – enlightening and enriching as ever…
As a past sufferer of depresssion, and as a participant in your course “Explore your soul’s journey” during the pandemic I found your latest thinking additionally illuminating. I’ve become a great believer in the holistic, all-embracing nature of our lives within the cosmos. Is it surprising then, that the complexity of creation itself impinges on our delicate souls in a way that may manifest itself in depression and related conditions?
To try to simplify this or reduce it to understandable causes – even “it’s part of my soul’s chosen journey” is to ignore so many other possible influences, and your blog beautifully expresses this in your usual articulate, considered and gentle way.
Thank you – keep thinking and writing…
Broadly in agreement William; good words as ever. Especially agree with working with the tangible / outer aspects of depression first. One passing observation: it is a pity that the concept of the ‘dark night of the soul’ has been effectively turned into a secular metaphor which is not what St John of the Cross meant by it at all.
This was a great read William. Thanks for posting it. Outside of our experience there are many reasons on a global scale to feel depressed (climate, war, hunger, biodiversity loss, space junk, etc). I’m curious about your take on antidepressants. Are they a manmade solution to a manmade problem?
As a yoga teacher your comment about nature’s impurities resonated deeply, especially as only last week did I introduce to a group of students the niyama principle of sauca, or purification. And how being watchful of the potential impurities of natures extreme tamasic (inertia) or rajasic (active) qualities within our energetic landscape, can help us to better manage our feelings, thoughts and behaviours. But what I love in particular about your blog is the reminder that as humans we are all very much part of the whole system, for all its natural ups and downs. A metaphorical gentle walk with nature can at times be sufficient to keep us relatively in balance, but at others times a more intimate dance is what is needed.
Thank you William .You always write so eloquently.
I think you hit the nail on the head about a lot of depressed people saying they “wanted to go home “
It really does feel like that .
When I was young I stopped eating because it made me feel serene and closer to God .I realised later that this is probably why monks do it !
If anyone else does it it’s called anorexia nervosa!
Yep .For me my normal disposition is a strong feeling that this is not my home.
Now I understand this ,it does really help.
Much love to you.William
Hi…In my experience, I have had periods of depression when I : –
1: Felt deprived in some way, ie ‘ I’m not good enough’ and ‘ I had a bad childhood, so I’m permanently damaged’
2: Felt ‘ tainted’ in some way…..’ I come from a negative thinking, depressed background/ culture, and I can’t get out of it’ .
3: Resorted to self abuse, ie alcohol, abusive relationships, poor diet, poor health management, overworking, people pleasing, etc etc.
Any or all of these are forms of self neglect/ abuse, as a result, I’m sure, of feeling/ being abused by others.
Some would say childhood trauma is behind all self abuse.
John de Reuter, a Canadian ‘ mystic’,
said he went into some ‘ very dark places’ before he became
‘ enlightened ‘, so maybe it can be a part of the journey?
Like, we have to go through the tunnel to see the light at the end of it.
( Maybe I couldn’t truly appreciate the light until I’d experienced its opposite?)
Maybe ‘ mystics’ who don’t go through it now, already have, previously? Or are just lucky not to have suffered childhood trauma? I can’t say….
Bill W. founder of AA, had periods of depression. He got through by saying, as he advised others to say, ‘ This too shall pass’ .
Buddhists too say ‘ All things change’.
‘Also, as one great writer, Shakespeare said…. ‘Nothing is good or bad, but thinking makes it so’.
So, listening to all such teachings, and through my experience, so far, is, I realise now that I can Change my Mind…….
I can care for myself even though I felt uncared for…
I can reverse damage done, both by others, and by myself…
I dont have to be stuck in a groove, repeating the same tired old thoughts of misery, sadness, self pity, or anxiety….
I can look at things differently…
I can change what is in my power to change, esp things that are hurting me…
I can change things/ attitudes one day at a time, starting with the most damaging…
I can find the help I need to make these changes..
I can learn, grow, develop, as I turn my face towards the light…
I can find joy where once I found only sorrow..
I can see light where once it was just darkness…
So these Are within my ability to change
Some things are Not within my control to change, like world peace, changing climate, collective consciousness, etc. – but these I can try to Understand, find Compassion for, rather than Blame….Blaming just makes me feel powerless, and can itself lead to depression…
So – I can change the Effects!
Within myself.
And as I change, so does everything I see….
And boy, when the sun does come out, I now turn my face to it, and remember to fully enjoy it, be glad of it, feel the gratitude….choose consciously to really feel what is good, what is delightful, what lifts my soul.
Choose gladness!
Choose giving to life, rather than trying to get something out of it.
Rather than trying to change it to fit my picture…
Give Love, and feel how good that feels!
Ongoing……Thank you for reminding me of all this….
Thank you June.
Thanks for the reminders, June.
Always helpful to know that (so called) others have also found the way through…..
Thank you, William! I always enjoy reading your articles, but this one I found particularly interesting. I liked your explanation of Yin and Yang. And I loved your attitude to ‘home’.
It helps to believe that the suffering that accompanies my depression is not in vain if I keep looking through the lens of the collective, knowing that I have incarnated to be part of the evolution from containment to expansion, allowing freedom of suffering for all beings.
Thank you William It was well received insights at this point in time when very recently we (in the island of Barbados) have had a rather disturbing spate of young and middle aged persons committing suicide. So it is a hot topic. Having just completed your 7 week course in metaphysics and the “Scared journey of Dying” all that I felt I could do is the soul rescue which you taught.
Thank you for the insights. I took have felt since child hood that I do not belong here, that I perhaps was sent here to have this experience and to report my experience when I am retrieved. This is not my home. I love Mother Earth.
Thank you William, I really appreciated your wisdom and insights and loved how depression can be viewed through differing lenses. Thank you
So grateful for this article. Such a helpful, insightful and compassionate way of understanding depression.
Thank you for this William, very insightful, reassuring and wise.
Exquisite…enriching …as usual…
Yes, yes… Thank you for bringing up the balance of Yin and Yang energy☯️ The action of Yang is so promoted in the industrial capitalist society and Yin energy is demoted to something to be fixed and cured! Depression was part of my life until I stopped resisting and found the softness and receptivity in the sweet darkness of Yin. By welcoming both energies I don’t need to feel depressed to find my Yin😊and Yang is ever present, too.
That is very helpful, Alma 🙏
Thanks for this William. As a psychotherapist, this really resonated with me. I was thinking today how the absence of sun felt like the absence of God’s presence, and yet I know that His presence is still with me. It was probably more to do with my hay fever, medication, and a busy week ahead that were underlying the lack of sunlight and its effects. Interesting! And yes, our bodies are affected by the environment around us in ways that we cannot ever entirely avoid.
🙏💚
Thank you William for sharing your Ancient Wisdom knowledge and perspective. I also think allowing oneself to be feeling these feelings in an effort to move through them more quickly helps as well. When we feel like we “should not” feel this way we block the healing process even more. I like to think of that allowing as the grace that is needed for oneself and others.