Untangling Spiritual Growth & Mental Health

This is a two-part blog that I wrote with my colleague, Amy Morrison, in the Spiritual Companions Trust

 

William:

There is a challenge that we may encounter when we are supporting or companioning someone on their journey of spiritual growth. And this challenge is often very confusing. At least, it is often confusing for me.

The confusion comes from distinguishing between the normal challenges of spiritual development and mental illness.

Having worked in this field now for many decades I expect everyone on the spiritual path to go through occasional times of confusion, depression, elation, delusion and insight. That’s normal – and we learn from them.

It is also normal for people to get over-attached to a particular belief or guru, and become fundamentalist, unable psychologically to accept and manage opposing ideas and perspectives.

The problem here and the source of my own confusion is that spiritual elation and fundamentalism look like, and may actually be, mental illness. They might, for example at worst, be presentations of psychosis or paranoid delusion.

My dad was a psychiatrist and when I took two years spiritual retreat, he was psychologically unable to process that his son had done this, and he told his friends that I had left the country on a tax dodge. Till the end of his life he was embarrassed by my engagement with spirituality; it looked to him like a personality disorder or mental illness.

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Spiritual companioning – supporting someone on their spiritual journey – also carries its own challenges. The person we are supporting might fall into patterns of projection, transference and dependence. As we become close to them, they start to process unresolved issues from childhood and we become players in their psychodrama. This too is normal.

But there can be worst case scenarios. The person we are supporting may go into an extreme crisis, unable to cope with daily life – depression, hyper, delusion – and at the same time they act out extreme dependency, projection and transference on to us. They need us, love us, hate us, and so on. In response, we of course want to support, be useful, compassionate and caring, but are now caught in the dynamics of their crisis. This can be overwhelming and exhausting. Worse than that, we are no longer of any use. (This may be when we realise that effective mental health care is best done in a team of family, carers and professionals.)

Over the years, my way of dealing with these crises and their dependencies has been to develop an intuitive sense that such a scenario is coming; and to slow down the process and relationship, by backing gently off and distancing myself. If there is what I call “a wave of grace” my gentle backing off can create the space for a new dynamic that helps my companion realise that they are going into crisis, and that they themselves need to slow down and self-manage. Several times, though, I have not handled it adequately and my companion has gone into crisis, and then both blamed me and wanted me to save them.

It is all very tricky and, as I wrote above, can be overwhelming.

More than that, in these situations I have to be very careful and acknowledge that my own training and capacity are limited, and I need to start a referral process. Of course, finding the right referral can itself be really difficult and usually requires the support of their family and general practitioner (UK NHS medical doctor.)

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What I do know, however, is this: the whole process and the dynamics of the relationship would have been eased if I had known early on if my companion had a history of mental illness. If I had known early on that they had a history of mental illness, then I would have acted more carefully and with clearer boundaries.

This means though that, when supporting someone’s spiritual journey, it is actually good practice to ask if someone has a mental illness history; and that can feel awkward, intrusive and embarrassing. My experience though is this: if my heart is filled with care and compassion, and they can feel my empathic support, then it is a relief for them to tell me. They may be annoyed or defensive for a few minutes, but this subsides – and there can be a deeper and more meaningful connection.

 

Amy:

As I sit down to write my part of this blog, I instinctively feel myself tensing and my mind going blank. It is such a sensitive topic, partly because I struggled a lot with my mental health in my teens and early twenties, but also because how we deal with mental health can have such a positive or negative impact.

So before writing, I first wanted to ground myself in the practicalities. I looked, therefore, at the Spiritual Companions Trust’s Code of Conduct  and our resource on Spirituality and Mental Health.   I felt relieved. I don’t professionally or formally support people on their spiritual journey, but I do it all the time informally in my work at the local library and in my social and family life.  The Spiritual Companions’ guidance applies whether we give support formally or informally.

In our guidance we suggest that we gently enquire about someone’s mental health history and maybe even those within their family. This can be difficult. I know I get prickly when people ask me what my mental health history is or, if I have disclosed already, they act differently because of it. So we risk potentially hurting a relationship we have formed with someone we are supporting if it’s not done in the right way.

My advice is as long as you are doing it with love, compassion and caring then its hard to go wrong; and if you do go wrong, use it as a way to explore with the person a better way of framing and exploring it with them. The key is not to completely avoid the conversation – delaying it is okay – as it needs to be had in order for you to safely work with and support someone else.

If someone is unwilling to go into this with you it might be that you need to skip ahead and advise them to speak to their doctor or mental health professional; you may also need to work with the family to do this. Whatever you do, always make a little note in your diary or similar so you know you’ve done it (or keep messages, emails, etc.).

Sometimes people may become very reliant on you or demanding. They might go the other way and reject you too. I think it is important to maintain your boundaries whilst demonstrating love and compassion. It’s okay to say that you need to stop supporting someone if it is outside of your remit, you are feeling overwhelmed or for any other reason. On the other hand, it’s also important to remember that its ok for the other person to struggle with you pulling away; it’s natural and expected, in fact. To help with this you can check that they have support from others and with kindness refer them to someone else better able to support them. Of course, also ensure you yourself have support, such as supervision with a wise friend or professional, or a peer group, to manage your own process and support your wellbeing.

 

Some First Aid Hints

There are also things that you can do to help someone if it looks like they are going into a crisis triggered by their spiritual journey.

  • Encourage them in the first place to meet their basic needs – sleep, eat, drink, gentle movement and exercise.
  • Tell them to slow down or temporarily stop their spiritual practice, because more spiritual connection and energy may make things worse.
  • With the person’s permission, contact their friends or family, so that they know that their family member or friend has gone into temporary crisis; and can therefore relate with greater sensitivity,
  • If relevant, enquire whether you can join or liaise with the person’s health care team. You can act as a pastoral champion representing the spiritual dimension in a multidisciplinary team.
  • To ensure your own good practice, regularly have honest reflective conversations with trusted friends, Spiritual Companions, coaches, supervisors, caregivers, clinicians and therapists in your spiritual network

 

Resources: Mental Health Referral Pathway and  Spirituality & Mental Health booklet.

How to Bless Medical Science

It is very rare for me to share someone else’s eLetter/blog, but I want to share a recent one from my friend, David Spangler.

I don’t know about you, but my in-box gets filed with email rubbish. The most stupid one I’ve recently received is an offer for a 7-Second Prosperity fix that will make me fabulously rich almost instantaneously with just a quick . . . I did not click to see how much it would cost me in money or intelligence.

In the same hour I received a beautiful, inspiring eLetter from David. Some of you may recall that a while ago, when I was about to go into hospital, I wrote a piece in which I described a realisation. My prayers for myself felt out of integrity and everything was transformed into a genuine benevolent flow when my prayer changed to: ‘May my presence in the hospital be a blessing – a blessing to medics, the patients, the cleaners . . .’

David’s eLetter is extraordinarily grounded and inspiring. He has been going through a gruelling treatment for a spreading cancer. Here is his latest blog:

The Beauty of Human Energy

by David Spangler

As I write this, I am sitting in a small hospital room receiving my first chemotherapy treatment. My cancerous bladder was removed but the cancer itself survived to migrate to other organs, including my lungs. Hence, the chemo!

To make this a memorable week, yesterday I had surgery to create a fistula in my left arm. This is a joining of an artery and a vein to make a “docking port” in case I need to have dialysis. My kidneys are now one of the targets of the cancer.

After the vascular surgery, I got to marveling on the skill and knowledge it took to make the fistula. Who thought of this in the first place? So, I did some research. Fistulas, it turns out, occur naturally when two hollow organs that should remain separate somehow get connected. Normally, this is a pathology. But hemodialysis fistulas such as I now have were created deliberately out of many attempts to help people with kidney failure. The research goes back to the turn of the last century. But the kind of fistula I have wasn’t developed until the 1960s.

As I lay in bed last night, filling my arm with Light and welcoming the new joining of one of my arteries and veins, I couldn’t help but appreciate the amount of human energy, creativity, skill, and caring that went into this medical procedure. So many unknown heroes whose efforts made this possible, of which I am now a beneficiary.

This is true for the chemo now entering my body. It, too, is the product of many lives, many intelligences, many souls working to find and improve ways of dealing with cancer. Whatever one may think of “Big Pharma,” behind all these endeavors is love and caring, and for many, a call to service. This is what I tuned into last night.

As I lay in bed, preparing my body energetically for the therapy I’m undergoing today, I had this deep sense of peace and of love and appreciation for all the human energy that has gone into the whole field of healing, allopathic and otherwise.

We see the destructiveness of human thought, feeling, and action displayed daily on the news. What we may not see, or see as clearly, is our human creativity, or the love and caring we bring to discovering ways of helping each other. We rightly decry the state of the world with its brutality and suffering, but we also need to celebrate the beauty we bring into the world as well.

I have always had a hard time adjusting to my physical body. It has been a consequence of the particular attunement to the subtle and spiritual worlds that I’ve had all my life. Not that a spiritual focus necessarily means a lack of physical focus or vice versa, but I teach Incarnational Spirituality in part because incarnation has been a challenge and something I’ve had to learn. The world often seems strange to me in ways that it doesn’t appear to be to others. This has never prevented me from loving the world and taking joy at being part of it. But it has meant physical challenges as my soul works to adapt to physical life. This latest struggle with cancer seems to be a part of that.

I certainly would rather it be otherwise; I have no desire to be ill. But what my latest illness has done is given me a portal into this arena of human endeavor on behalf of humanity. It has made me even more aware of the beauty of our human energy and creativity as we seek to make the world a better, safer, healthier place. Now, I take into my body not poison, not chemicals, but Light flowing from this human energy.

It makes me love our strange and struggling species even more.

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To view this blog online and to sign up for David’s eLetter go here: https://lorian.org/community

Distant Healing Strategies to Relieve Suffering

Distant Healing Strategies to Relieve Suffering

Every Thursday since the Spring 2020 covid lockdown I have led a twenty-five minute online healing meditation to relieve suffering.
‘We send healing to wherever there is suffering. Calmly, patiently, we send healing.’

Over these four years my own way of practising distant healing has developed, and I want to share my journey and practices with you. It may encourage, support or expand your own practices. And of course I welcome feedback and other ideas.

 

Relief of Pain

To begin, I practised distant healing in a way that most people will know already. I bring into my heart and mind the people I know who are physically or mentally ill — family, relatives, friends, colleagues and neighbours.
Softly from my heart I wish them well. Just calm thoughts of wellbeing for them.

Long ago I learned never to direct healing energy, prana or qi indiscriminatingly at people who are ill. This is for two reasons:
First, I do not have their permission, so may be intruding.
Second, more energy can sometimes stimulate, amplify and worsen an illness, especially nervous system disorders and mental illness.

So I hold people in Love and calmly wish them health and healing.

 

Birthing Self-Compassion

Over the months, as I contemplated the pain and distress of people in suffering, my perspective changed. Meditation, when we are in a profoundly calm, expansive and connected state, is also a process of curiosity. Consciousness expands. Insights come.

I contemplated the reality that, for many, pain and distress are not necessarily going to end. Even with a miracle cure, end of life inevitably awaits — indeed awaits all of us.

I remembered the nurses’ training led by Professor Margaret Newman where the nurses were told: Wellness and sickness are inevitable cycles. The nurse’s true vocation is, yes, to relieve suffering, but more importantly to midwife an expansion of consciousness so that patients can connect with something Higher and self-manage with philosophical hope.*

I also remembered the teaching of Stephen Levine when he wrote about how patients can ‘heal into death.’ We all die, but patterns of suffering can be relieved by shifts in attitude, in consciousness, in forgiveness.**

And the Buddhist teaching too – it is not the suffering that matters, but our attitude to it.

My internal strategy in the Thursday healing meditations therefore evolved. I still wished everyone relief from pain. But I also prayed — for me, prayer is a contemplative thought held calmly, with a sense of connection to the wonder and energy of life — that the consciousnesses of these people would be birthed into a compassionate and loving awareness, so they might be at peace with their pain and suffering.

This is a deep shift in attitude for people in pain or suffering, the benefits of which can be twofold. Psychologically they can find respite. Physically, this change of attitude can stop the toxic effects of negative thoughts and emotions, which cascade through the neuro-endocrinal system, triggering adrenalin, cortisol, acidity, cellular tension and more pain.

 

Supporting the Hospitals, Hospices, Care Homes, Medics & Carers

Over the ensuing year, my contemplative prayers and thoughts expanded to include the local hospitals, hospices, care homes and their patients. I contemplated clouds and waves of healing warmth enveloping these places, supporting the patients in having a more compassionate and peaceful attitude to life and themselves.

At the same time, the medical staff and carers came into my heart and my distant healing strategy expanded to bless and have loving thoughts for all these people on the front line.

My contemplative awareness expanded from local hospitals to all hospitals across the UK and then to places of crisis in the world. I contemplated the medics and carers in Gaza, then other places of war, famine and catastrophe – wishing them love and strength to relieve the suffering around them.

 

Attunement and Solidarity with Healing Spirits

The most recent shift in my practice is more metaphysical as I gave attention to the healing spirits that may be found around hospitals.

Anyone who has been in a hospital in the early hours of the morning, before and at dawn, will know that there can be an extraordinary atmosphere of calm and healing — a magical and benevolent presence.

In my worldview this beautiful presence radiates from spirits and angels. In particular, my sense is that all hospitals, surgeries, care homes and hospices are overlit, blessed and enveloped by loving, subtle beings, who radiate reassurance, encouraging growth into healing and recovery.

In my distant healing meditations I therefore began to revisit all my local hospitals, and beyond, to contemplate how each place was accompanied and supported by these benevolent subtle beings.

I connect and commune with these spirits with an attitude of gratitude. As best I can, I express my solidarity and gratitude, both as an individual and as a representative of the human community, to these magnificent subtle beings.

 

To summarise:

Always calm, centred and connected:

My heart goes out to all in pain and suffering, and I wish them relief and recovery.

I contemplate the birthing of their compassionate consciousness.

My heart goes out too to all the healthcare staff and carers, professional and voluntary, and wish them blessing and gratitude.

I acknowledge the great spirits and angels of healing who overlight and support all places of healing, and express gratitude to and solidarity with them.

Finally I envisage a network of healing linking all these elements across the Earth.

And, of course, I will learn more.

I hope this is helpful.

*

Comments and feedback are welcome on this blog.
I know that many of you will also be experienced in Reiki and other forms of distant healing.

 

* Margaret A Newman: Health as Expanding Consciousness, 1999

** Stephen Levine: Healing into Life and Death, 1993

 

Energy Healing Strategy for Victims of Rape

There is an energy healing strategy that can support victims of rape and abuse.

To understand this healing approach, it is useful to know something about subtle energy anatomy. In this case, it is to do with the way that the fascia envelopes every part of the body and is mirrored by a webbing of subtle energy.  

Fascia is the thin, smooth, elastic, slippery tissue that sits between muscles and the skin, and that surrounds body organs. It is everywhere in the body, enveloping blood vessels, nerves and cells.

Fascia is also the interface between the body’s physicality and its subtle energy anatomy. It is the bridge, the connection, between physiological tissue and the stuff of the energy body – prana, chi, etheric tissue.  Fascia, for example, is the interface that enables acupuncture.

In the tragic circumstances of rape and abuse, the etheric webbing – the subtle energy fascia –  around the sexual organs and anus is penetrated.

The result of this trauma may be that the subtle energy webbing, the etheric webbing, is torn and remains open after the abusive event.  The integrity of the victim’s subtle energy anatomy is therefore broken.

The victim now experiences not only the psychological and physical trauma of the abuse, but also the less visible wound of the torn and open etheric webbing. This can create an ongoing existential sense of vulnerability and anxiety. For both therapists and victims, it is important to understand that this ongoing vulnerability is not just a psychological or physiological effect. It is also in the subtle energy body that has lost its integrity.

At best, over time, with patience, calm and trust, the webbing can reform and grow back into place. The patience and kindness of therapists, friends and family are crucial.

At worst however the wounded subtle energy webbing remains open.

This can have a tragic result.  Bullies, predators and abusers may sense this energy wound and be attracted to its vulnerability to repeat the abuse. The wounding, the opening, may therefore be further enlarged, creating more vulnerability and a cycle of abuse. This is very unpleasant, wounding and can obviously be very confusing for the recipient who cannot understand why it is happening.

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This energy healing strategy, therefore, is aimed specifically at repairing the subtle energy webbing so that it reforms back into a coherent, healthy and resilient state.  

This technique is not the usual energy healing strategy of hands-on radiation that is used for example in spiritual healing.  In fact, deliberately radiating energy into the wound might make things worse. It can overstimulate and excite the area, possibly making the tear bigger.

The healing strategy that we can use here is calm, receptive and holding. It is magnetic rather than radiatory. It allows and facilitates the web to reweave itself.

It trusts that there is an underlying DNA blueprint of health — an underlying archetypal pattern of a healthy webbing that remains there despite the wound. We need to let the webbing drop back down into its archetypal pattern and reweave itself.

Our technique then is to be very gently present to the wound with calm and patient care. No excitement. No radiation except patient compassion and love.

It is as if your loving and gentle hands are under the wound, and you are magnetically attracting and allowing the webbing to sink down and reweave itself back into its healthy pattern. This requires a very light touch; no sense of urgency.

To repeat: Allow the torn webbing to sink back down into its healthy blueprint which is always there. Sense that it is reweaving. Do not actively radiate or put any willpower into the strategy.

Energy healers – Be very careful about actually touching your client.

How many healing sessions are needed? I do not know. I wish everyone a graceful and speedy healing, but we know that this may take time.

You will know if the healing is effective and the webbing is back in integrity, because the individual will now consistently feel more confident and empowered.

Victims of abuse – If you are reading this, my strong suggestion is that you do this practice when you are in a very safe, relaxed and comfortable space, perhaps in bed or curled up on your sofa. Approach the practice carefully. Maybe feel your way into it just for a few seconds. Slowly build up to a few minutes. A few minutes practised regularly over several months may work very well for you.

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I wish everyone graceful healing.

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Below you can watch a video of  this blog

The Metaphysics of Depression

It took me a while to understand what people were actually telling me when they described their experience of melancholia and depression.  They nearly always spoke about the purely psychological dimension of negative thoughts and emotions, often so unbearable that suicide seemed a redemptive relief. They rarely acknowledged their embodied physical experience.

But almost without exception, when I continued to enquire about their ailment, they would begin to talk about extreme physical states: sensations of unbearable physical heaviness,  sluggishness, immobility, inability to rise from bed, a glued physical reluctance to engage in any activity.

No wonder, I thought, that they should have such distressing emotions and thoughts. Their internal physiological state, their inherent biological ecosystem, was in an awful state; and this was naturally mirrored in their sad emotions and thoughts, at their most extreme inclining towards suicide

As a mystic and metaphysician, I would then always contemplate the journey of their soul. I hoped that I might intuit some kind of coherent story, framed by metaphysics, karma and spiritual purpose, that threw some light on the darkness of their malaise, on their dark night of the soul.

Yes it was obvious, as with any illness, that there was an opportunity for spiritual development. But I always advise caution here, because it can be nasty and insensitive to assert that someone’s illness is a purposeful part of their soul’s journey. At its worst, this kind of statement can be a soulless, passive aggressive ‘you asked for it’ banality. (Even if sometimes there may be an element of truth to it.)

Stepping back from the idea that depression can be a deliberate developmental stage planned by the soul, there are however other metaphysical perspectives that are worth exploring.

I approach all this tentatively, because it is an idea that is work-in-progress and also because I want to be sensitive to the suffering of those who endure depression and melancholy.

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The key angle here is to focus on the physical experience of depression that I began to list in the first paragraph: the symptoms of sluggishness, heaviness and the effort required to move, as if one were being sucked into inertia.

Notice too how many of the therapies for depression encourage movement of the body, emotions and thoughts. Notice also the medicines administered for depression; their very prescription acknowledges that it is a biochemical embodied state.

But the physicality of depression is often ignored by those of us looking for a psycho-spiritual or metaphysical understanding and cure.

There are however two metaphysical perspectives, which can provide insight.

The first is from the writings of Djwahl Kuhl, particularly in his book, Esoteric Healing, dictated to his secretary, Alice Bailey.

The second can be found in many metaphysical philosophies, but is most explicit in the Yin-Yang approach of Taoism.

In explaining illness and the possible avenues for healing, Djwahl Kuhl of course talks about the karmic element. He also discusses illnesses, such as plagues and epidemics, where individuals have no choice but to participate in humanity’s collective karma and mass events.

Djwahl Kuhl also crucially discusses the inherent impurities in the stuff that makes up the body of planet Earth and consequently the inherent impurities that exist too in our human physical bodies. We may be brilliant, compassionate, enlightened saints, but our bodies are organic and carbon-based, and therefore contain inherent impurities that we share with Gaia. The substance of Gaia’s vehicle is not one hundred per cent pure. Gaia herself has karma.

This is a profound insight for metaphysical approaches to illness and healing. Some of our illnesses have nothing to do with our personal karma and dharma, but are simply part of the reality that we exist in an interdependent physical environment and we participate in its corrupt physical elements as much as in its gifts. That is just the way it is. (Try keeping your body healthy and alive forever!)

The physical experience of depression, then, may simply be due to someone’s physical body experiencing an impurity that belongs to planet Earth.

(Below: The Schwatzchild metric; gravity bending space and time.)

Then there is a second metaphysical insight. (I apologize in advance to scholars who may see this as an oversimplification.)

The Yin-Yang concept of Taoist philosophy expresses a crucial cosmic reality that is rarely articulated in a helpful and straightforward way. This philosophy asserts a fundamental truth, that there are two great forces continuously at work and continuously in balance with each other.

Expansion ↔ Containment

Yin  ↔ Yang

Yin — everything in the cosmos is in a continual state of containment, of gravity and magnetism; of taking on form.

Yang — everything in the cosmos is in a continual state of movement and expansion.

Without gravity and magnetism – Yin –  the cosmos would have no form, no solidity, no coherence.

Without movement and expansion – Yang –  the cosmos would be an unimaginable block of inert matter, a sucking black hole of density, never developing and growing.

These two forces of expansion and containment balance each other to create all the forms and matter of life. Moreover their relationship is always dancing and in a state of transformation. They exist alongside and within each other.

At the same time, these two forces are felt in our bodies and our psyches.

Too much Yang, too much expansion and movement, and we become hyper.

Too much Yin, too much magnetism and inertia, and we get sucked into depression.

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So here we have a metaphysical perspective on depression. It suggests that the physical matter of someone’s body may be too inclined towards gravity, containment and magnetism; and has lost its balancing outwards movement of expansion and development. The depressed person’s cells and atoms are not moving and expanding in a balanced way. There is too much dense, sluggish gravity.

Why should this be in some people’s bodies? Yes, there is the possibility that it is the soul’s choice. But there are all the other more obvious reasons — ancestry, DNA, environmental conditions  — which come from being part of an interdependent species of planet Earth. Please do not get me wrong and start sending me emails stating that people can influence their vulnerability through changes in behavior and attitude. That is only too obvious. What is not obvious to many is how we share in the collective experience of the whole planet, sometimes willingly, sometimes innocently and by chance.  

Depression can be, so to speak, a natural event that occurs sometimes because our bodies are made up of matter over which we sometimes have no control. Birth and death are also indicators of this reality.

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Moreover, many people who do not suffer severe depression, do also experience cycles of melancholia, ups and downs. These are natural too and built into our biology.

Two of these cycles are very well-known.

The first is seasonal. Many people experience lows when their bodies are deprived of sunlight in the Winter; and then recover energy when stimulated by the renewed light of Spring and Summer. The warmth and rays of the sun work directly on the physiology to stimulate activity. Deprived of the stimulation, many bodies sink into melancholy.

The second cycle is the equally natural one of sadness following a period of activity or a peak of success. The body seeks balance. Having been in an extreme state of liveliness, it swings back into an extreme state of morose sluggishness. Some people, as we know, suffer lifelong swings of mood, not as disturbing as suicidal depression but nevertheless extremely uncomfortable.

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So to an important question. Can any of this approach to depression bring relief?

I do not know.

I do know however that anything that expands our understanding might in some way be useful. It progresses the conversation.

For people however who are dedicated to their spiritual development and have developed the practice of compassionate witnessing, then this approach may give them a new angle to contemplate. Possibly, better understanding their metaphysical and physical anatomy, they might intuit an insight into how they can mobilize themselves out of too much gravity into more expansion and movement. I do not know. I do however pray for the relief of suffering.

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Often my friends who suffer from depression and who have a spiritual approach, will say: I don’t belong here. I wish I had not incarnated. I want to go home.

I may then ask them about their sense of home. They always reply that home (usually in the heavens) is healing, safe, friendly and beautiful.

I find it very poignant when they say that, because I perceive extraordinary hope and optimism in their sense of home. We mystics who, fortunately, do not endure depression, are, in a way, always at home. I wish that for my melancholic friends too.

Self-Healing, Internal Martial Arts and Mystic Love

Self-Healing, Internal Martial Arts and Mystic Love

There is an important connection between the internal martial arts practice of ‘bone marrow breathing’ and the mystic concept that ‘God loves you.’

They are not philosophical or intellectual ideas. They are both felt experiences that positively support us. 

Moreover, both experiences have strategies for deepening them.

The internal martial artist may seem very different from the mystic, but they are working with similar principles.

I was thinking about this, lying in bed, recuperating from a tough couple of weeks. I had been knocked out by a kidney infection and then, partially recovered, found myself caring for other members of the family facing health crises. I was exhausted to the point of irritability.

But I teach and practise self-care. So, I turned up the volume on my bag of self-healing strategies. 

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How do we turn up the volume?

For stronger and deeper healing, we have to become softer. Our attitude and mood need to resemble the lightest touch of the most delicate feather.

In yoga and internal martial arts (Qi Gung) there is a saying:  the softer, the deeper. For the healing energy to sink more fully into your body, it needs to be soft, gentle and subtle, not vibrant and intense.

This is explicitly taught in the Taoist approach to health, Taoism being the source of Qi Gung and bone marrow breathing. In the Taoist model, the universe is a flowing, moving, ocean of change. It is essentially benevolent and to benefit from this goodness, we need to place ourselves in harmony with it and become part of its flow. One crucial element in this harmonisation is for us to soften, become lighter, more flexible.

Just as the Tao is benevolently harmonious, so too the mystic’s experience of deity is benevolent.

For the mystics who want a deeper spiritual connection and experience, there is also similar practical advice. They are asked to empty and yield softly to benevolence and love.

In mystic poetry this is often described as a form of swooning — but your lover is the Divine. Dissolve me like sugar in warm tea, wrote Rumi the Sufi mystic.

In practice, this mystic emptying and yielding is, I suggest, the same felt experience as softening to go deeper.  

I notice too that there are parallels in the practices of many spiritual traditions. The metta practice of Buddhism, for example, points in the same direction. May I be at ease in my own body . . . May I develop compassion . . .

Different cultures have different ways of expressing the same concept, practice and experience.

 

A Quantum Leap

To even better experience the softness, the love, the flow and healing, there is also a quantum leap we can make.

This is a sincere personal surrender and commitment to the love, benevolence and compassion of the universe.

You, and you alone, know whether you have made this shift.

Having committed to this love, we are not perfect. It is always work in progress. We still have the usual human faults, but essentially we are at peace with the universe.

This means that our self-care and self-healing can go ever softer and deeper. Good for us. Good for those around us.

 

*

 

Be as comfortable as you can.

Patiently contemplate that the cosmos is benevolent.

Notice any good feelings.

Soften your attitude and mood.

Allow the goodness to sink into you. Yield. Breathe it in.

Practise this again and again.