Why Are Some Meditators So Smug?

There is a lovely human contradiction here.
Meditators are strung out between being primal primates and transcendent gurus.

The organic reality is that meditators sit in a complex system of nerves, juices and synapses. These  biological essentials are hardwired into basic instincts for survival — for the individual and for the species. Sometimes these built-in nature drives can be bloody and harsh.

In the culture of traditional eastern meditation this is reflected in the classic Tibetan Buddhist mantra:
I am a sack of skin filled with unpleasant things.

Less harsh is the mantra:
I have a body, but I am not my body.

Softer and emotionally literate is the more modern version:
I have a body, but I am more than my body;
I have emotions, but I am more than my emotions;
I have thoughts, but I am more than my thoughts.

But these mantra pose a really interesting and substantial paradox. Who is the “I” who has all these things?

The “I” is obviously still a persona, an identity, a “me!” But this “I” is claiming to transcend and be detached from the sack of skin, the body, emotions and thoughts. This “I” is more than the flesh and blood identity.

In the Christian tradition we know only too well the problems associated with detaching from and condemning the physical body. The arising challenges range from a gentle dissociation that is harmless to others, to an uncontrollable flood of repressed, corrupt and abusive libido. This pathology of course is not restricted to Christianity, but may be found in any tradition that represses the body and its instincts.

But there is also a psychological challenge which is hardly acknowledged and requires more enlightenment. It is more subtle and has to do with status and survival. And is sometimes very destructive.

It is one of the most ordinary basic instincts in human beings. It is the survival drive that requires a stable sense of status. Where we sit in the social pecking order is a crucial element of psychological stability. We can see the politics of dominance hierarchies playing out all across the animal kingdom.

In the human species, status anxiety, and not knowing where one stands in the social hierarchy, can lead to mental illness and suicide. Moreover when someone’s status is threatened or disrespected, it can trigger powerful basic instincts of defensiveness, anger and aggression. This is the culture of gangs, bitchfests, prisons, mafiosi and dictators.

When a meditator, therefore, self-soothes and calmly observes the world around them, they transcend the usual dynamics of status and survival. In their consciousness the meditator is detached from, higher than, everyone else who is caught up in the noise, arousals and delusions. By virtue of being calm and watchful, the meditator has achieved – at least within their model of reality – a higher status.

This higher status gives them, as a biological creature, quite naturally, feelings of superiority. No wonder some meditators feel smug. At its worst the gentle smile of a meditator may be an expression of conceit.

And . . . perhaps they have genuinely achieved a higher status. Perhaps this is a positive evolutionary step onward for human beings.

If calm meditative watchfulness is a positive evolutionary step onward, then what matters now is whether the meditator has the reflective skills to understand the trickiness of the human psyche and whether they have insight into the hardwired drives of their sack of skin filled with unpleasant things. What matters too is whether they have an instinct for compassion.

Looking back at my own practice, I remember that in my twenties i was a smug meditator for a while. I did not know better and it was a stage before I developed a more insightful and loving temperament. 

In fact, I now wave a flag and will assert that the experienced meditator has reached a higher stage of human evolution and development — has higher status!

But this higher status, in the context of the great ocean of cosmic consciousness, is meaningless. (Try competing with a galaxy!)  As meditators experience over time, there are never-ending new and higher states of consciousness in our infinite enquiry into love, wisdom and the mystery.

Our plateau of calm awareness is but a starting point for ever more expanded states, more compassionate awareness and service.

So yes, I would have everyone on the planet able to practise the skills of calm awareness. But I would also want them to understand and appreciate the flesh and blood realities, the basic instincts of their biological creaturehood.

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Meditation requires insight at all levels.

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The image below is of St Simeon the Stylite who lived on top of a pillar for decades.

Distant Healing – The Heart-Opening Technique

Many meditators, healers and people of goodwill are attracted to the idea of distant healing — that in meditation, contemplation and prayer we can help relieve suffering and pain at a distance.

But how exactly do we do this? I will share with you one golden rule, briefly list the most well-known techniques and then describe the strategy that I prefer.

First, the golden rule.

This is simple: Distant healing must always be done in a relaxed, calm and loving way. Otherwise, you may be sending agitated vibrations and energies. In particular, you need to monitor that you do not have any neediness that there be a healing.

If we are needy for healing, then we radiate neediness. Not useful.

So stay calm. The keynote is compassionate equanimity.

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The most well-known distant healing strategies are:

  • Kind thoughts
  • Sending healing energy (keep to the golden rule above and check you are not interfering)
  • Praying for help and intercessions from whichever tradition, gods, spirits, angels, saints, gurus, etc, who are in your culture.

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Then there is the heart-opening strategy that I prefer to use.

I like it because it is relevant to both suffering and the causes of suffering. It is also realistic about the fact that some illnesses and distress are chronic and long term, and that death is an inevitability.

This strategy is simple. It is a sense, a visualisation, a calm expectation that the hearts open of those who are suffering.

In the same way, the hearts open of those who create suffering.

In a calm state of compassionate contemplation, bring any person or situation of suffering into your loving awareness.

May your heart be open. May your heart be open. May your heart be open.

When someone’s heart opens, they move into a different mood. They connect with the benevolent flow of the universe. Their emotions and minds become more accepting and kinder. Healing at all levels becomes more accessible. Space is created for waves of grace.

There are other ways of practising this that may better suit you.

If for example you have a Christian background, then you may prefer some wording like this, which has the same effect: May the Christ within you awaken. Or May the Christ consciousness in you be fully awake.

From a Buddhist background, you might feel more at home with: May the Buddha within you awaken. Or May the Buddha consciousness in you be fully awake.

Of course, you are free to adapt the wording in whatever way works best for you.

Within the Buddhist tradition there is also the foundation prayer of Om Mani Padme Hum often translated as the Jewel in the Lotus. In many respects, this is a heart awakening mantra. Each of us is a lotus, a beautiful flower with stems beneath the water and roots deep into the earth. And within us is a jewel. Perceive it. Let it be fully present.

Again, this is congruent with the Hindu greeting of Namaste. I greet the soul within you. I greet your soul. I greet the Christ within you. The Buddha within you. The Goddess within you. All of these facilitate heart-opening.

Some people may prefer to work with the chakra system. You can sense-visualise-imagine the love petals of someone’s heart chakra opening with compassion and wisdom.

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I use this heart-opening approach when, in meditation, I send healing to the dictators and politicians who are oppressing their peoples. I sense their hearts opening. May your heart be open. I greet your soul.

Similarly, I use this strategy when contemplating those who are suffering with pain and fear. May your hearts be open. I greet your soul. Om mani padme hum.

Softly, gently, empathically, connect with suffering and sense heart-opening.

As always, you as an individual practitioner can explore and feel your way into the approach that is authentic for you.

Remember too to practise basic health and safety. Your fuel, inspiration and safety come from your connection with Spirit, by whatever name you call it. At the end of any healing, bring your focus fully home to your own body and close your energy field like a flower at night closing its petals.

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I honour and respect activists who work on the front lines to relieve suffering and create safe space for all life to grow and fulfil.

I also honour and support the meditators, contemplatives and prayer-workers who work with distant healing.

Three Meditation Strategies to Manage Mind Chatter

This blog has three insights to help us manage mind chatter in meditation.

They come from fifty years’ experience of practising and teaching meditation. Monkey mind is one of the most frequent concerns.

But first be realistic and less concerned. Mind chatter is completely normal.

Our brains are hardwired to create thoughts and narratives about every perception, cognition and experience. The average brain, it is estimated, has 100 billion neurons; and each neuron has 7000 synaptic connections with other neurons.  They are busy interacting, buzzing and thinking and they continue their activity, as dreams, even when we sleep.

So when we go into meditation and withdraw from external stimuli, it is completely natural that we will meet the whirring electrochemical activity of our grey matter and its billions of internal connections. It is naive to expect this all to stop just because we close our eyes and sit still.

Unfortunately newcomers to meditation often have this unrealistic expectation that their minds will easily calm down and  they feel like failures, often not continuing with their practice.

This expectancy has also been fuelled by an error in how meditation is often taught in the West. When eastern concepts were first translated into English, the concept of the void (sunyata) was frequently interpreted as meaning an empty and completely silent space. In fact, the void refers to an experience of cosmic spaciousness in which everything and nothing exists, and everything and nothing is welcomed. It is infinite and like an ocean.

When it comes to managing mind chatter the actual issues are:

  • Can you calm your impatience?
  • Can you step back with compassion and good humour to observe what your mind is doing?
  • Do you know how to assess your mind’s activity and guide it into something useful?

 (The image is Hieronymous Bosch: Visions of Tondal)

Impatience

There are a some crucial life skills needed by meditators.  One of them is the discipline and motivation to get into the groove of regular practice. Without regular practice we cannot develop the muscle memory and neural grooves that support our meditation practice becoming a comfortable and habitual rhythm.

But inside the discipline of regular practice the essential life skill we also need is patience. Patience — so that we continue to sit even when we feel triggered by irritability and feelings of impatience. So that we continue to sit and breathe even when we are jibed by internal judgments that we are wasting time or cannot do it properly. Patience when we are frustrated by monkey mind and find it difficult to flow into being at ease and calm.

All experienced meditators know that we have ‘bad’ days when mind chatter just does not stop. Any wise honest meditation teacher will own up that this happens to them sometimes. In my case it still occasionally happens after decades of practice. Why does it happen? There are several possible reasons. Unresolved karma and trauma in our psyches may be arising. We have been overstimulated by events. A global mood is influencing us. All this stuff is normal for human beings – and meditators are human beings.

To repeat, the most important strategy we can use here is patience. If we become impatient, it triggers neurochemistry which further stimulates the brain’s 100 billion neurons, just making things worse.

To help us develop patience there are many strategies, such as watching and guiding our breath, or repeating a mantra. Their core effect is an attitude of patience that then spills over into a calm mind and body.

One minute of patience, ten years of peace. Greek proverb

Witnessing with Good Humoured Compassion

Then there is that fundamental core part of meditation, which is the ability to mentally step back and observe everything and anything with compassion, care and good humour. This includes witnessing all the many sensations that arise in our bodies and, of course, being able to observe our own thoughts.

For many of us, therefore, the real issue with the chattering mind is not its chattering. The real problem is that we not able to step back and watch it with good humoured compassion.

One of my earliest teachers once said to me that there are two types of meditator — those who require the mind to be silent and those who can happily meditate with the mind burbling in the background. What is certain is that we have to develop that part of our psyche that can observe our minds at work. What shall we call it — higher mind, witness, observer, big mind, soul . . .?

In some militaristic schools of meditation there is a cold, abrupt and disciplined approach to developing this witnessing bigger mind. It is bootcamp enlightenment. Wake up! Observe! Witness!

This patriarchal approach to mindfulness has its source, I surmise, in those meditation traditions that are related to martial arts and to hierarchical monasteries and abbeys. This harsh approach of shock consciousness awakening can work well providing it is balanced with love and compassion.

The better, more appropriate and, I suggest, easier way into good-humoured self-observation is to develop an attitude of tolerance and kindness.

When stuff arises and the mind chatters, do not amplify the speeding brain electrochemistry with criticism and irritation. Instead drop down into an ambience of love and friendship. Ah. There I go again. Bless.  And this attitude then becomes the foundation and the mood that support our ability to witness.

Assess and Guide Your Mind

Finally there is a strategy that usually surprises students and colleagues.

When your mind is chattering away, ask yourself a simple question. Is my chatter useful? If the chatter is useful, let it continue and appreciate its value. If the chatter is not useful, then guide it into something that is constructive.

In my meditation today, before I started to write this blog, I found that my mind was exploring what I should write, contemplating different approaches. This is ironic, I thought. My chattering mind is chattering about managing chattering. However —I assess that  this is useful and creative. Where better to contemplate writing an article on monkey mind and meditation than in meditation?

This is the essence of contemplative meditation. We deliberately allow our minds to contemplate a subject for which we welcome insights and wisdom. This is classic meditation practice. The most profound school of Christian meditation, the Exercises of St. Ignatius of Loyola, is precisely a series of contemplations on the life of Jesus. Buddhist meditation is sometimes described as enquiry.

In my own daily practice I welcome my mind contemplating what is happening in my life. I think of this as clearing my desk. I have many things in my life that deserve careful contemplation and consideration. Where better to ponder these things than in a meditative state where I am at ease, connected, watchful and caring? For example, difficult relationships can be explored in meditation, where there are no external stimuli muddying our clarity. In meditation we can contemplate our psychologies, patterns, woundings, ‘hungry ghosts’ and bring loving awareness to them.

And if you find yourself thinking about what to cook for dinner, you can assess whether that is a useful contemplation. It might be useful if you guided your thinking to include diet and wellbeing. The choice is yours. This is one of the great gifts of meditation. Inside the privacy of your silence you can do whatever you assess to be best for you.

I once queried an abbot who taught meditation and emptying. In your silence, I asked, don’t you contemplate your fellows and your visitors and explore what might best serve them? Of course I do, came the calm smiling response.

And there we have it — the internal emptiness has space for wise contemplative enquiry. We just need to be watchful and carefully guide ourselves.

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So to repeat the three strategies:

Be patient.

Develop good humoured and compassionate witnessing.

Assess your thinking and guide it to be useful contemplation.

Three Reasons People Fall Asleep in Meditation – and Solutions

Over the decades that I have been teaching and leading meditation there is a common problem that arises. People fall asleep when meditating.

Here are three possible causes and their solutions.

 

Fatigue

The first challenge is straightforward.  People are tired and when they give their bodies the opportunity to be still and at ease, their bodies follow a natural instinct and slip into slumber.

There are two solutions. The simple one is do not meditate when you are tired. Timing will vary. For instance, some people have energy after eating, but others need a nap. Some people can easily meditate when they get home from work; others need a meal and a rest. Some people also need to make adjustments according to the time of year and seasons. You need to understand what works best for you in terms of timing and your circadian rhythms.

The other solution is less straightforward. Many people experience a general fatigue due to their lifestyle. Too much work. Too much fun. Too much family. Whatever the reason, falling asleep in meditation is a prompt to tweak how you are living. Your body is dropping into sleep in order to make up for the stress from the rest of your life. The solution here may be troubling or a very useful nudge: change your lifestyle.

 

Dissociation and Avoidance

A second reason for why people fall asleep in meditation is more subtle and sensitive. When people meditate and drop into a sense of calm and being at ease, they may start to experience bodily sensations that are due to muscle and cellular memory. These sensations, which may be very subtle, are often related to trauma and injury. So it is natural that people will want to avoid these negative feelings and reliving the unpleasant experience. Falling asleep is a good strategy to avoid the pain.

In worst case examples, people who were abused as children may, during their abuse, have dissociated from their bodies. This is a poignant but effective escape and survival mechanism. It is as if their consciousness absented itself from their bodies and the traumatic experience. So later in life, in meditation, as old memories surface, they follow the same survival pattern that they used in childhood. They dissociate and fall asleep.

This is obviously tender material and requires careful compassionate attention. If people feel that this may be their case, then there are two ways forward. The first is to recognise what is happening and use the meditative practice of deep self-compassion to address the painful history. This strategy only works if the meditator is strong, balanced and able to turn up the volume on self-compassion.

The second method is to engage with a therapist or meditation teacher who understands how histories of trauma are held in the body. In the last two decades there has been a useful growth in body-based psychotherapy.

 

Stodgy and Inert Energy

A third reason why people may fall asleep in meditation is that their mind, emotions and body are stodgy and not in flow. This can be an understandably uncomfortable realisation.

Especially as people sink into being at ease or, practice techniques in which they connect down into the Earth, then it can feel as if their energy and vitality clog up like slow treacle. This is like taking a sleeping pill or sedative. The brain feels heavy. Morpheus and Hypnos, the gods of sleep, magnetically attract people into slumber.

The solution to this problem is systemic. The whole system needs to be freed up into a more fluid state of movement.

Inside meditation this can be achieved by doing exercises frequently taught, for example, in Qi Gung and Kabballah. Sense and guide energy up and down, through and around the body, varying the circulation and speed.

At the same time people can review their diets and general exercise regimes. Reduce foods that sedate instead of vitalise. Move your body in expansive movements. Check that you are flexible in your emotional and mental stances.

Meditation is more than silence and emptiness

There is an exciting dimension to meditation, which is often ignored or even dismissed. This is the exploration of altered states of consciousness, and mystic and psychic experiences.

There are several reasons for this omission. The first is a misunderstanding of the Buddhist idea of emptiness. Western interpretations have dumbed down sunyata (Sanskrit), a complex concept that attempts to describe meditators’ calm experience of infinite unknowing. This has been inaccurately interpreted to mean a void in which there is nothing but silence and emptiness. In fact, the void of sunyata is an infinite space that harmoniously includes and contains everything.  

(Representation of the observable universe on a logarithmic scale by Unmismoobjetivo – Own work, CC BY-SA 3.0)

A second reason for ignoring the spirituality and metaphysics of meditation has been a utilitarian move to present meditation as a safe secular practice that soothes and supports wellbeing. The fear in education and medicine is that the metaphysical aspects of meditation will sabotage its mainstream acceptance.

A third related reason is a cultural snobbery around spiritual and psychic experiences, which are often judged as naive or, worse, a possible symptom of mental illness. So, many meditators keep quiet about their spiritual experiences, not wanting to be the targets of unpleasant comment.

This distrust of meditation’s metaphysics is often supported by a famous story about an experienced meditation teacher and an enthusiastic student.

Enthusiastic student: My meditation was amazing! I saw angels and fantastic colours! I heard a voice and felt the vibration of liberated beings!

Teacher: Be quiet. All that will pass.

(Photo Dharma from Sadao, Thailand – 018 Devas in Heaven, CC BY 2.0)

This fable is often used to assert that all psychic phenomena in meditation are irrelevant figments of the imagination and distractions.

But that is not the real lesson of the story.

The actual teaching is more important: whatever the experience, meditators need to maintain a state of watchful, calm and compassionate equanimity.

Inside this composed mood, meditators can then observe all phenomena with a kind but detached curiosity, and assess the usefulness and value of whatever has arisen. Importantly they can also discern whether the phenomena are creations of their own psyches or are external realities; and if the phenomena are indeed creations of their own psyches, they can reflect on why they have arisen.

The story about the teacher and student does not tell students to dismiss all phenomena. It tells them to observe with equanimity whatever arises.

We can immediately see here the psychological value of mature meditation. Mindful curiosity allows meditators to calmly engage with their experiences. The sensations and memories, for example, of traumatic events can be witnessed as they emerge as thoughts, feelings and subtle sensations. Tranquil breath and self-care then enable a healing process of acceptance and integration.

(Francesco Botticini – The Assumption of the Virgin)

Beyond this internal psychological dimension, there are also the external spaces accessed in altered states of consciousness. This is where meditation starts to be a whole lot of fun. But I need to be crystal clear. At the risk of repetition, exploration of these psychic dimensions has to be practised with compassionate equanimity. Perceptions and experiences are always balanced with reflective and sceptical detachment. Otherwise the result can be dissociation into a psychic Disneyland.

That said, the cosmos and its subtle dimensions are full of interesting phenomena, beings and experiences. Our psyches are totally free to explore the cosmic environment. This is the greater ecosystem. Big bang. Time. Consciousness. Gaia. Christ. The Divine Feminine. These are just hints at what the meditative psyche may explore. Exploration expands consciousness and connection.

Remember that Buddhist paintings of meditation and its inner realms are not empty but filled with strange beings.

Humans are never freer than when the psyche is in meditation. Any limits are only self-imposed and do not come from external agents. (Trust meditation teachers who empower you to explore!)

In exploring these metaphysical realms it is useful for practitioners to understand their own levels of psychic sensitivity and their own psychological tendencies. I often think that the differences between the many schools of meditation come from their founders’ different levels of psychic sensitivity. For example, if practitioners are not at all psychic, then because they do not have the same experiences, they may naturally be sceptical of psychic phenomena. At the same time, those who are naturally psychic often need to discipline themselves, so as not to get lost or distracted by their perceptions. Equally meditators who possess busy minds need to calm their endless interpretations.

In my classes I often ask for a show of hands to find out where people are located on a spectrum of psychic sensitivity. We then unpack together how this influences their meditative experiences.

In a recent training for meditation teachers, there were some colleagues who were very psychic and always perceiving beings from other dimensions. Other colleagues were more oriented towards ‘melting’ into a sense of unity with all that is. The conversation between the two groups was very helpful in highlighting how these differences influence our experience of meditation. That said, there was never disagreement about the core requirement of calm equanimity, or that spiritual growth is always about compassion, connection and consciousness.

The Indian sage Patanjali (500-400 BC) described the subtle phenomena of meditation as coming from an ‘over-shadowing cloud of spiritual knowledge’ or a ‘raincloud of knowable things.’

When meditators start to describe their metaphysical experiences, it can be problematic for sceptics, triggering warnings of naivete, delusion and possible mental illness. This is understandable. There are indeed delusions.

My response is to be reassuring to that caution.

Meditation is not an empty void but an expansive ocean. Therefore practitioners are continuously developing the skills of perception, discernment and interpretation.

Cosmic curiosity — exploring metaphysical dimensions — is healthy, positive and developmental. 

(For a relevant online workshop on this theme click here)

How Meditation Was Invented

How Meditation Was Invented

people floating in the dead sea

First published in Cygnus Review Spring 2019. This is an excerpt from the book ‘Meditation Masterclass’ to be published later this year.

Having taught meditation for decades, I want to reassure people that meditation is a natural human behaviour. All you need is an instinct be quiet and calm.  

So why are there all these competing meditation traditions and schools? Here are three short stories that illustrate how meditation might have been invented.

The Householder Who Invented Meditation

A woman lived in a village in a house full of children and relatives. One day she felt an instinct to get away from the noise and activity. She walked until she found a quiet spot under a tree by a stream.

She closed her eyes. She felt the tree against her back and the soft grass and earth beneath her. The breeze touched her cheeks. The sound of the stream was soothing.

After a few minutes she felt some anxiety and accompanying thoughts about her family and neighbours. She felt impatient and an urge to go home. But she stayed sitting quietly.

She sighed, noticed tension in her chest and began to breathe more softly.

She stayed sitting quietly, just patiently waiting, letting her body and feelings become more easy. This felt good.

She returned the next day. And the next. And the next.

She was meditating. Her mind and her feelings were calm. Her psyche was able to contemplate, enquire and explore.

 

 

The Worker Who Invented Meditation

A man worked in the city and was stressed and anxious. His doctor prescribed a sedative, which he took for several weeks but disliked its side effects.

Following an instinct he stopped taking the medication and on his way to and from work he began to stop regularly to calm himself – sometimes on a park bench, sometimes in a church or library.

Pausing and sitting quietly soothed him.

This pausing to self-soothe became a daily behaviour.

After a few months something else began to happen when he sat quietly. A part of his mind started to enquire: Who is this inside me who is choosing to calm myself? What is this part of me watching and guiding all this? Wow! Here is another part of my consciousness. It feels good and interesting. I want to sit longer and explore all this.

He was meditating.

The Warrior Who Invented Meditation

There is a soldier who was weary of fighting. One day, off duty, she felt a rising anger within her and recognised that she needed to calm down.

She followed her instincts and found a space where she could not be observed. She then practised some of her martial arts moves – strikes, punches and kicks – at the same time vigorously expelling air from her lungs with grunting breaths.

After thirty minutes of this extreme activity and catharsis, she could still feel some of her internal fury. Her next instinct was to sit still.

Disciplined and self-managing, she sat quietly for a while. Her mind scanned the circumstances of her life, contemplating her ethics and her behaviour.

Her anger subsided. She was in a space of watchful good-humoured equanimity.

She began to repeat the behaviour daily.

She had become a meditator.

A Meditation Contest

Imagine if the Householder, the Worker and the Warrior each attracted followers who copied their meditation behaviour. We now have three different meditation schools and there is the possibility of conflict.

My teachers says you must meditate in nature.

No only in a sacred space!

No!  Do these movements and chant!

Breathe like this.

Don’t do anything. Just be!

Today in our global village we can see so many meditation schools, such as yoga, chanting, Vipassana, mantra, prayer, mindfulness, guided journeys, healing and more. Newbies and teachers often think that their way is the only or the best way instead of honouring and exploring the different traditions.

Universal State

Wonderfully, although there are all these different approaches there is also, I assert, a universal state, which all meditators experience. This state is profound:

  • We are at ease.
  • We are conscious, awake and watchful.
  • We patiently witness and experience everything with care and compassion.
  • We feel connected to the beautiful mystery of all existence.

No wonder there is a natural human instinct to meditate. It is good for us and all those around us.

The above passage was then incorporated into my Meditation Masterclass